10 REASONS BOLLYWOOD SUCKS

 

I have not watched Bollywood films for over a year now and I have good reasons.

1. Perfect characters

So a hero can do this-

Even though he is just a businessman

And this

Who cares if he is a cricketer?

 

And of course the actresses are just for this

 

 

And how acceptable the films are about their looks

 

So a hero can dance, sing, kick ass AND look good. And actresses are just visual candies forced into a movie to satisfy the demand of billions who just watch films because they are huge perverts. Because guys are perfect and girls are hot, right?

No they are not. So stop portraying them as such. In a cinema watched by billions of people of all age groups, you make people feel like they are worthless.

 

2. No physics.

 

Einstein, Edison and other scientists have wasted their life, so sad! Only if they had seen a bollywood film!

 

3. Adult is porn

 

Now this is something that may not have crossed your mind, but once you notice it, you can never not notice it.

Remember this film?

 

However unrealistic and exaggerated it was, this film showed gruesome violence, physical and sexual abuse, kidnapping, corruption and crime. And it was u/a.

I saw this film when I was 8. I was disturbed. Really, really disturbed. And did I say I watched this film with my three year old neighbor? Yeah. I do not know how he managed to sit through it but he started crying by the end of it. THAT was u/a.

Because in bollywood, adult means porn. Anything sexual in films is cut AND it is made adult. Because children CAN WATCH VIOLENCE, which is prohibited in our civilized society but not anything sexual, which is a part of our lives.

 

4. No origin stories.

Why does a normal person choose to fight crime and romance a girl simultaneously? Why is the villain evil?

There is generally no answer to this. The hero is inherently good and is villain is inherently bad. Period.

5. Underutilization *cough**cough*over-sexualization*cough* of actresses.

 

Not only are actresses’ visual pleasures forced into movies, they are over-sexualized.

Why does a college-goer wear revealing clothes in her spare-time?

6. Too predictable.

 

The hero wins and villain loses and the hero-heroine gets together. The end!

Remember a film in which the hero is not able to kill the villain or a film in which the heroine leaves the hero in the end? Or a film with a twist ending that got you wondering? Very few. If you watch enough films you can even complete characters’ dialog for them.

Bollywood personified

7. Songs

Worst thing about a love story in bollywood films-

1. It was irrelevant to the plot of the film.
2. There was no plot in the film.
3. Now the hero-heroine are going to break into a dance in between the street and all other people will leave their work and start dancing with them in perfect sync. Either that or they are going to teleport to an exotic foreign location just for dancing.

What can be worse than that? It breaks the continuity of the films and it is irrelevant. Oh there IS something worse- item songs.

We almost forgot we watched films not for their content but because we are huge class-a perverts wanting to see hot girls dancing to B.S lyrics. Well, a famous item song does INCREASE profits, so I guess that may be true…

8. No originality, recurring storylines

A trend in bollywood films is to copy, Hollywood, tollywood, mollywood, basically every movie they get. Did you Drishyam was copied from a malyalam film? Me neither. They can pretty much get away with it. But because it’s bollywood, so it also copies their OWN movies.

Someone somewhere on the planet made a story that a thug falls for a girl and fights his romantic rival only to win in the end, and bollywood made a HUNDRED films on it.

 

9. No character development

Sorry bollywood

I earlier said the hero and villain have no origin and back-story, which is technically not possible, but considering there are people who just come out of nowhere and are inherently good or bad, at least the events IN the story should affect them, right? Right?

Nope.

When a real person goes through a trauma, they change. But not in bollywood. In bollywood if you kill someone in front of the hero, he gets super angry and hulks out and kills he villain, instead of going through the trauma of seeing someone dying.

In bollywood, when a hero is being tried to be killed by twenty men and he kills them all and goes and enjoys with the heroine. Instead of going through a serious case of PTSD.

10. History is a joke

 

When after a decade bollywood FINALLY got tired of the thug-fighting-for-a-girl story, they had to find something else to copy, add masala and overacting to it and copy and overuse it again and again for a decade. All the members of the National Board of Faltu Films (NBFF) agreed on one idea: historic fiction.

But they DID NOT FORGET we watch films not for their content but because we are huge perverts. So we get this:

A lot of singing, dancing, drama and crappy stories with no relation whatsoever with history. Girls are still zero-figure and guys with six-packs. The only difference is that they get to use their huge budget in costumes, locations and CGI.

 

 

These were the ten things that suck about bollywood films. But there are always exceptions in such a vast range of films like bollywood. Slowly, bollywood is raising its standards to set an equal foot with hollywood. The only way we can appreciate good cinema is to stop watching crappy films and start watching low-budget but good films. If you disagree with any of my points let me know in the comments! I’m sorry if you don’t like this article. Don’t send me hate mail!